J & I — Chapter 1

J decided to call it quits today. I knew this coming but just didn’t anticipate it today.

He says nothing. He storms out and refuses to take my call when I only wanted to know if I should stay up for him?

So this strange thing has been happening off late. He wouldn’t answer my call or talk to me, ignore me like I don’t exist? The other day he didn’t even leave me any masala bhindi despite knowing that I absolutely cannot do without bhindi and dal chawal.

All my life I struggled with getting things done, the hardest part being how to begin. Now that we started it, how do we end it? Who decides to end it?

Seven years ago when we vacated the old rusty apartment and moved to this den, I didn’t think one of us would have to leave it. I always thought we would move around together. I just didn’t know I would struggle to live with J. He was my ride or die.

When did he stop loving me? Why would he want to leave me when the world is a shit show right now?

It gets to me how fucked an expression of love is? What is the most hideous way you tell people that you do not want them anymore? Chuck it, J will have an answer.